Habit 6 of 7

The person across from you is reclined with crossed arms. Apparently oblivious to the fact that you’re speaking, their eyes are focused on something far in the distance.  You believe they have earned your internal “What a jerk!” condemnation.  What you don’t know is that person has the same opinion of you, because they don’t know you are also completely oblivious.  Everything you are trying to communicate is lost in your sharp tone of voice and aggressive posture.

Today’s discussion is about tone and body language.  Not that of others, but yours. 

We too often put our colleagues, teammates, and others on the defense simply by how we say something. Our tone or stance encourages conflict that just doesn’t need to happen.

Without realizing it, we passive-aggressively communicate disgust, disrespect, indifference, contempt, rejection, and even dismissal.   

Long sighs, rolled eyes, crossed arms, and a power stance equally come across as aggressive, dismissive, rude, and disrespectful.   

Healthier Habit:  Be aware of both the intentional and unintentional messages you can send through the tone of your voice and your body language.  Consider giving a good friend or trusted advisor permission to privately make you aware when your attempts to communicate are thwarted by your own behavior.  In the heat of the battle, taking a few deep breaths before responding can provide the right space to reply with kindness, intentionality, and respect. 

Over the last few weeks, I’ve shared with you new habits to incorporate into your daily walk: learning to state clearly what your expectations are, believing the best intent from another person, allowing colleagues to follow their own process to realize the expected results, how using vulnerability provides an avenue for deeper conversations, greater sympathy, and enhanced empathy, and listening to understand.  How many of these habits have you practiced? 

I can help you intentionally identify your habits, in this case, being intentional with the tone of your voice and your body language, to help you grow into a truly excellent leader.  Let’s chat!


P.S.  Book a Complimentary Strategy Session so we can get you moving in the right direction; click on my Complimentary Strategy Session calendar link here and let’s book a time together so you can get started today!

P.P.S.  With over three decades of professional experience in corporate operations and executive human resources, I am a proven results-driven leader.  My expertise includes strategy, change management, talent management and organizational development, employee relations, and executive and leadership coaching.  I am a highly effective communicator and team leader with proven ability to build long-term relationships across internal and external customer environments built with integrity, confidence, authenticity, and trust.